How to Keep Your Relationship Alive, According to Couples Counseling Therapists

Are you dreaming of the early days of your romantic relationship? 

Maybe things were exciting and romantic when you first started dating, but now the sparks just seems to have disappeared.

You’re wondering how to keep your relationship alive

We can’t wave a magic wand and make things better, but we do have some relationship tips to share.  

Keep reading to learn more.

How to Keep Your Relationship Alive: 5 Key Tips

While there’s no simple solution to any relationship, here are 5 important things that most therapists agree are vital to any relationship.

1. Work on Open Communication

Open, honest, healthy communication is one of the most important aspects of how to keep a relationship alive.

Hollywood rom-coms and Disney fairy tales have taught us many myths about romance. One of these myths is the mistaken belief that if two people are truly “in love,” then they will always understand each other perfectly.

There’s this idea that if two people “get” each other, then they will “vibe on the same frequency” and that communication will always be easy for them. 

In the beginning of a relationship, it often is this simple. The two of you are both excited about getting to know each other, and so the conversation always flows smoothly. You can’t wait to share all about your day, your hopes and dreams, your fears and annoyances, and everything in between.

Once you’ve been together for a while, this starts to change. You become more comfortable with each other. You get bored or irritated more quickly.

We often think that if two people struggle with communicating with each other, then it’s a sign that their relationship is broken. 

The truth is that no matter how much in love you are with someone, sometimes it is difficult to maintain open communication. When are you are in love with your partner, you are willing to put in the hard work that is necessary to communicate with each other. 

If you want to know how to revive the spark in a relationship, take time to talk with the other person in the relationship. Find out what your partner needs and desires from you. Be open with sharing your own needs and desires.

2. Go on Dates Together

If you are asking yourself how to rekindle a relationship, maybe you need to think back to the beginning of the relationship. Remember when everything was still exciting and romantic? What were you doing during those early stages of the relationship? 

Most likely, you were going on dates regularly!

You took the time to sit down in a restaurant and enjoy a meal together. This ties into maintaining open communication, too! You intently listened to the other person, because you were sincerely invested in getting to know your partner.

Whether it was a visit to a theme park, a walk on the beach, or a hiking trip, every date felt like a new and exciting adventure with the person you loved. 

Maybe sitting down to dinner or going to a movie theater isn’t your thing. That’s okay! Shopping for furniture or people watching in the park can also be dates, too. 

Get creative! Try new things and explore new places together! 

3. Try New Things in the Bedroom

Here’s a date idea for you: stopping by an adult pleasure store. It might sound cheeky (no pun intended), but if you’re wondering how to keep the spark alive in your relationship, toys are one way to do it!

Introducing new toys into your sex life is not the only way to spice things up in the bedroom, but it sure does bring some novelty into your love-making sessions. Just taking the time to look through toys together and talk about what you’d like to try is a great way to rekindle the spark. 

Maybe you just need to flirt a little and slow things down a bit. Maybe you need to role-play in a shared fantasy. 

When it comes to romance in the bedroom, don’t limit yourself to the Hollywood tropes of candles, rose petals, and classical music — unless, of course, you want to! This is your relationship, so try out things that are exciting to the two of you! 

4. Take Time for Your Own Self Care

This one might sound counterintuitive at first. If you want to learn how to keep the spark in your marriage or relationship, then shouldn’t you be focusing all your energy on your romantic partner?

Actually, no. If you don’t ever take time for yourself, then you’ll be on a fast road to romantic burn out in your relationship. The strongest romantic relationships are ones where both people in the relationship also take the time to maintain a healthy relationship with their own selves.

Self care looks different for everyone. It’s up to you to carve out time for your own hobbies, interests, and individual social life.

Self care might mean going for a run by yourself. It might mean reading a book alone. It might just mean spending a few extra minutes in the shower, or taking time to journal every evening. 

A 2013 study showed that people with higher levels of self compassion also tend to have more positive relationships than those who don’t have self compassion. As you practice loving yourself, you will also learn how to love your romantic partner. 

5. Celebrate the Positives in Your Relationship

If you really want to learn how to rekindle romance in a long-term relationship, you need to be willing to focus on all the positive aspects of your relationship. If you are constantly focused on the negatives, then that is all you will see.

Try not to spend so much time brooding over all the irritating things your partner does. Instead, take the time to appreciate the things that first made you fall in love with them. 

All You Need Is Love

Okay, so the Beatles might not have had it quite right when they sang that “all you need is love.” When it comes to how to keep your relationship alive, you also need to put in the time and effort to grow your love.

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